This is part two of an earlier monologue I wrote called A Captive Audience about an actor I called Steve Layne. See here:
This is the second part…
Oh, You have come back, how lovely! Please take a seat. I’m only removing my make-up.
Well, what do you think? I have to admit it was one of my best performances. I can hear the critics now “Steve Layne delivers a performance like no other. Not a dry eye in the house.”
I am relieved it’s over, I always am after a show. I wish I didn’t fret so before hand but there you are. I hoped I would grow out of this stage fright but I never have. At least I’m not physically sick anymore.
Do you mind, can you pass me one of those facial wipes? Thank you.
It is so nice for you to come and see me. I’m sure you know this is our penultimate night here at the Dixon studio, Westcliff. One more night then we’re off to the Abbey Theatre in Nuneaton. Nuneaton doesn’t have the attraction of the sea front but they always give us a good welcome there.
Did you see my performance? I hope you recognised me under this make-up and in that costume. Of course, the role isn’t the biggest in the play, I only have two lines, but it is pivotal to the whole thing. I think I gave it something extra, don’t you? A little bit of Pazzazz for the audience. I definitely heard a gasp from the back row. Of course, it might have been a cough.
I do like this particular troupe of players. They seem to appreciate a man of my talents. Some of them, of course, are not long out of drama school and they get the best roles because of their youth and looks. It’s not based on merit, that’s for sure. I am hoping they will give me a meatier role when we move on to our next play. They’re talking of doing Death of a Salesman next. I can see myself in that part! It needs someone with a bit more gravitas and maturity, not one of the young pretty boys.
Of course, I always put in a good word for one of the plays by Agatha Christie. I love a good murder mystery, don’t you?
I long to do musicals again, like in my youth, but they are so difficult to get into. When they ask me what I have done and I say I was once in a production of Oliver, playing one of Fagin’s boys, they don’t sound impressed. OK So that was over twenty years ago, but it’s like riding a bike, you never forget. I can still sing and dance. I tried Pantomime but they want TV names nowadays. If you haven’t been on the telly, even a docu-soap, they are not interested. I tried dropping names of a few I worked with years ago, Bonnie Langford, Keith Chegwin. Not a sausage of a reaction.
Right the make-ups off, I look a bit more human now don’t I? I am starving, I don’t suppose you fancy grabbing a bite to eat and a drink do you? There’s a cheap pub down the road that does a meal and a pint for a fiver.
You can tell me all about yourself after all you’ve barely said a word.
Shall we go?
Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 17/April/2018