This is a semi-true story, but names have all been changed.
There was a large group of us gathered in the student bar (this tells you how long ago it was, my student days are a dim and distant dream, or nightmare) it was a good mix of people on the same course as I was and also a few house mates. There was a roughly even split of guys and gals.
I remember I was drinking beer, Double Dragon ale, made by a local Welsh brewery.
We were just chatting about random stuff, as you do, nothing too political, although I think someone did mention tuition fees.
Then one of the couples at the table were having a banter. Tom and Polly had only been going out with each other a week and it was widely known that they had not moved on to anything physical. At least not by this point. I can’t remember who started the conversation, but Polly then provocatively said to Tom, loudly for us all to hear.
“Oh I suppose I’ll lay back and let you use me then.”
And I don’t know what made me say it or what happened to my usual mental brake that should have kicked in and stopped me.
I just said “What as? A Smorgasbord?”
Tom and Polly went red with embarrassment, but not so much from what I had said, but from the fact that everyone in the pub, except them, were laughing hysterically.
They forgave me though. I was invited to their wedding two years later.
So all’s well that ends well.
Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 13/June/2018