The Second Honeymoon
It’s our third wedding anniversary, a real milestone for us and we’ve decided to have a proper honeymoon. The first one had been a bit of a nightmare.
We couldn’t afford an expensive honeymoon, the wedding itself has set us back a fortune and we still owed the wedding photographer who withheld the photos until we had paid in full.
So, we ended up borrowing a friend’s caravan in North Wales. Now, don’t get me wrong, I like staying in a nice Caravan, a lot of my favourite holidays growing up were in caravans, and I’ve got nothing against North Wales, the scenery is beautiful. However, the weather was atrocious. It never stopped chucking it down with rain and the Caravan leaked. Our marriage nearly ended then and there, but as we still hadn’t properly paid for it we thought we’d try to put the arguments and petty fights behind us. Bruises heal and the insults will be forgotten. We did end up having to go to Llandudno general hospital after I dislocated my Husband’s jaw for calling me a sanctimonious bitch, but he forgave me.
Now, for our second honeymoon, but really our first because I don’t think the first one counted, we have decided to go on a Mediterranean cruise.
The only trouble is, my husband enjoys a bit of sightseeing and keeps trying to drag me off to see some ruined temple or statue of a naked god. He says he’s trying to broaden my mind, but I think he’s being deliberately obtuse.
I’d much prefer to lay here by the pool. The swimming instructor is a gorgeous young man, with blond hair and freckles and I’d rather stare at him through my sunglasses than at an old statue any day. I may even take a few swimming lessons, he doesn’t know that I was backstroke champion at high school. I’ve sent my husband off on his own today, I said, “why not go on that coach trip to see Pompeii, you’ve always wanted to see that”. I told him I had a headache and the hot sun wouldn’t be good for it. He’d go berserk if he saw how that young instructor keeps smiling back at me. Well if you’ll excuse me, It’s time for my first lesson. I may even teach him a thing or two!
Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 29/June/2018
berserk, husband, freckles