A little bit of Mirth – A Steve Layne Monologue

Back when I first started blogging in March I wrote my first monologue and created the character of Steve Layne. He is an actor with a flamboyant way of speaking. You get the impression that his life isn’t quite as good as the one his ego projects.

See here to read the first one:

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2018/03/12/a-captive-audience-a-monologue/

I then wrote another monologue with the same character in April.

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2018/04/17/after-the-play-a-steve-layne-monologue/

 

So here we see him once again, in his dressing room, getting ready for a performance.

Someone enters to find him staring off into space with a tear in his eye.

“Oh, hi there, I didn’t see you come in. You caught me unawares. Yes, I suppose I did look a bit melancholy.

I was just thinking about my life. It hasn’t been a bed of roses, that’s for sure, well maybe the thorns.

Would you be a dear and pass me one of those tissues?

Thanks love. There that’s better, I wouldn’t want my mascara to run. I could just hear the critics now ‘Steve Layne looks like a Panda on heat in his latest performance of Hamlet’. No, actually I’m not doing Hamlet, despite being in the mood for it. No, I’m in a comedy at the moment. It’s one I wrote myself actually. It’s called “A little bit of Mirth”. The main character is an actor who is struggling to find work and so reinvents himself as a stand-up comedian only to have a heart attack on stage, but the audience all think its part of the act and start laughing. No, it couldn’t happen to me, I’m as fit as a fiddle. I had a checkup just last week actually. Nothing wrong with my heart. They are a bit concerned about the skin lesions, but the theatrical make-up hides those, thank heavens.

I must say the reviews have been quite kind. One of them even spelt my name right. I’ve been called all sorts, you know. Stephen Lain, Steve Lean and even once Dave Conti, God knows why. So, it was nice they spelt it right. L.A.Y.N.E That’s right, with a Y and an E.

Oh, are you with a newspaper then? Oh, you write a blog, do you? You know, I thought I recognised you from somewhere. Yes, I was in the Pink Panther club last Thursday. Oh, that was you was it? Look, I’m sorry about that, I didn’t mean to run out and leave you with the Cab to pay for. It was your gold filling I accidentally swallowed, was it? Wild times, I do get a bit crazy when I’m on the Pernod.

Oh, thank you, Yes, I wouldn’t mind seeing you again next Thursday. It’s an Abba tribute night. That’s OK you can be Agnetha I prefer Anni-Frid anyway. Of course, you can see my Fernando anytime! Oh, you did. Well, I was very drunk, I can’t really remember.

Right, I must get ready for the show now. I have to say I am feeling in a much better mood now than I was earlier, all my Melancholy has turned to Mirth. Tell Ted out front that I said you could have a seat at the back, no love, It’s my way of saying thank you. It’s never busy anyway on Friday nights, I think there must be something good on Telly tonight.

Let me know what you think. Yes, I am quite happy for you to put a review on your blog. Only, be kind.”

The End

Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 20/July/2018

 

I have used the following word prompts:

Word of the Day: Mirth

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2018/07/20/mirth/

Fandango One Word Challenge: Melancholy

FOWC with Fandango — Melancholy

Ragtag Daily Prompt: Gold.

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2018/07/20/rdp-50-gold/

 

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talesfromthemindofkristian

People are far too complicated to be able to describe in a few words so I am not even going to try.

12 thoughts on “A little bit of Mirth – A Steve Layne Monologue”

  1. You do these monologues so well. You create a quite dislikeable character on the surface but show all his weaknesses too so we end up feeling a lot more tolerant of him. It’s like seeing the tortoise with and without his shell

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Britchy 😉 This was my very first monologue character, I wrote the first one for my creative writing course. The character grew on me. He is such an egotist but at the same time, he is rather pathetic in a way. I can’t help sympathising with him, maybe there is a bit of me in him. 😉

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  2. Amazing what is revealed when a person just keeps talking, and you do this very well. By the way, it’s skin lesions, not legions. Two completely different words there.

    Liked by 1 person

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