Manic Mondays – The Wrong Road – A lyric poem.

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I have written this poem, which seems to have a song like quality to it (or is it just me?) for Laura M Bailey’s Manic Monday Challenge:

https://alltheshoesiwear.wordpress.com/2019/02/11/manic-mondays-3-way-prompt-roads/

 

I arrive at life’s junction

I feel aimless, without function.

The roads lead off before me

Into futures, I cannot see.

So dark the path behind me,

I will not let my past bind me,

Into life’s adventure, I leap,

Trusting that I will find me.

 

My old infatuation

Brought no satisfaction

No reason, no reaction,

To my situation.

So, onwards I start walking

down roads without markings

Ever hopeful, without knowing,

If the path I take will break me,

Or hope, forsake me,

Take me forwards.

 

Of all the roads before me,

Only one road is the wrong one,

The one I must be the strong one,

To avoid.

In the dark storm of life,

All the other roads lead me through,

The Wrong road, is the one road,

That leads me back to you.

 

Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 11/February/2019

 

https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/02/11/your-daily-word-prompt-infatuation-february-11-2019/

FOWC with Fandango — Reason

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/02/11/trust/

 

 

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talesfromthemindofkristian

People are far too complicated to be able to describe in a few words so I am not even going to try.

16 thoughts on “Manic Mondays – The Wrong Road – A lyric poem.”

  6. Now keep in mind, Kristian, I think you’ve written a perfectly lovely poem. But if we were workshopping it, what follows is the constructive criticism I’d offer in love and friendship:
    At life’s latest junction,
    aimless, sans function,

    blind to my past though I
    won’t let it bind me.

    I thrust into the next
    adventure, trust at last
    that’s where I’ll find me.

    OR:
    At life’s latest junction,
    aimless, sans function,

    blind to my past though I
    refuse to be bound.

    I thrust into the next
    adventure, trust that’s

    where at last I’ll be found.

    Keep in mind that poetry demands compression. Notice the reduced number of words & lines while preserving your original meaning as well as a rhythmic/musical flow on both proposed revisions. Your original 1st verse contains 60 syllables in 46 words & 8 lines. Revision 1 contains 39 syllables in 32 words & 7 lines, while revision 2 contains 39 syllables in 31 words & 7 lines.

    Just one writer’s poor advice, feel free to pitch into the dustbin!

    Happy writing,

    Denny

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Pingback: What did I miss? – A recap. – Tales from the mind of Kristian

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