The Dating Scene – A poem about a blind date, for A Guy Called Bloke’s Valentine Day challenge.

Valentines Day Writing Comp jpeg

A Guy Called Bloke has thrown down the gauntlet to write a story or a poem with a Valentine’s day theme. Click on the link to see his post:

Valentine’s Day Competition! 2020

 

Here is my poem:

 

I was desperate, I admit, it’s true

That’s why I agreed to meet with you,

It was Valentine’s day and not wishing to be unkind,

I wouldn’t normally choose to go on a date that’s blind.

Neither of us knew quite what to expect,

But you’re not my type, no disrespect.

You see, what I’m after, and no doubt so are you,

Is someone taller, good looking and twenty-two.

I suppose we’re both just too much the same,

two disappointed searchers, it’s such a shame.

It’s been a nice evening, not bad, alright

not absolutely a wasted night.

Sorry, what’s that you said? You’ll pay the check?

With your gold diner’s card? Just wait a sec.

Maybe, after all, this has been my fate?

Would you like to go on a second date?

 

Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 14th February 2020

Kreative Kue 249 -Photo Fiends – A poem.

Wildebeesta

 

This poem was written for Keith Channing’s Kreative Kue challenge, click on the link below to see his post:

https://keithchanning.wordpress.com/2020/02/10/kreative-kue-249/

 

As they gathered in a crowd so thickly,

One looked up and shouted “Quickly!

It’s those tourists back again, once more,

To take our picture, What a bore.

Let’s stampede before they turn and click,

Those photo fiends just make me sick!”

But, too late, they’d got their photograph,

A load of Wildebeest and not one giraffe.

 

Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 14th February 2020

 

I have also included the Word of the Day: Quickly

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2020/02/14/quickly/

The Ballad of Ted and Flo – A Raunchier Genre Challenge

broken heart love sad
Photo by burak kostak on Pexels.com

This poem was written for the Genre Challenge:

https://thehauntedwordsmith.wordpress.com/2019/04/05/genre-writing-challenge-april-5/

Today’s genre and image:

Spicy: a romance in which married characters work to resolve their problems.

 

I have also included the following Word Prompts:

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/04/05/collar/

https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/04/05/your-daily-word-prompt-plenty-april-5-2019/

https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/04/05/your-daily-word-prompt-flurry-april-4-2019/

FOWC with Fandango — Condone

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/04/05/rdp-friday-laundry/

 

The Ballad of Ted and Flo

Florence and Ted

Were happily wed

But something had gone off the boil

So, one day they decided

And to me, confided

to start rubbing each other in oil.

 

Now I don’t usually condone,

This new raunchier tone,

But there’s a lesson to be learned in all this.

For while there is fun and surprises

In wearing disguises

It doesn’t always end in connubial bliss.

 

Flo told me then

It had all gone wrong when

Ted had suggested they try some role-play

She played a laundress

But it caused much distress

Doing nothing but laundry day after day.

 

Then apparently Ted

Suggestively said

That Flo fitted him with a tight collar

This caused a flurry

And Flo had to hurry

When Ted turned bright red and started to Holler.

 

Now there’s plenty to be said

For trying fun in bed,

But be sure you choose the right way

For Ted and poor Flo

This just wasn’t so

And Flo moved in with me yesterday.

 

Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 05/April/2019

 

I hope you enjoyed this light-hearted poem. 🙂

A Valentines to Remember – A comedy poem.

Love 1

A Guy Called bloke has set the challenge, to write a story about someone presenting these items as a love gift:

Stapler

Slug

One-eyed teddy bear

A bunch of carrots

Vibrator

Here is his post:

Valentine’s for Luvvies Challenge 2019 . 23

 

So here is my attempt at a comedy poem, that includes all the items shown above 😉

Warning: It’s a bit rude. I’d use the word ‘innuendo‘ but that would be too suggestive.

 

Him

“Well, my darling lover, to show how much I care,

I present you with this cuddly toy, a lovely teddy bear.

I know it looks rather funny,  with one eye upon its head,

but I made it with my own fair hands, I could have bought you one instead.”

 

“I took great love and care with it, cutting out the cloth.

I felt the pressure really bad, I began to foam and froth,

I had a big slug of brandy, just to ease my shaking nerves

It’s probably why, it’s only got one eye, but it helped me with the curves.”

 

“I know I can’t sew for toffee with a needle or a thread,

so I used the industrial stapler gun I got from out the shed.

So here is a Cyclops teddy, no please, don’t take it with offence!

I hope you realise the effort that this teddy bear represents.”

 

“I’ve bought a bunch of carrots for our fancy evening meal

Only the best for my love interest and they were on a half price deal,

the Guy who sold them to me told me they’re an aphrodisiac.

So with just one bite, this very night, I’ll get you in the sack.”

HER

“Well, Dear Sir, I am surprised, Glazed carrots are a treat,

and I accept your cyclops teddy bear, his face is rather sweet.

I must say though, my lover, I don’t think I’ve ever seen,

A bunch of carrots that have been so lovingly glazed with vaseline!”

HIM again

“Well, My dear, come over here, I’ve one more gift for you.

I got it from that shop in town, behind the public loo

It’s hard and pink, but don’t over think, it vibrates as well, you see.

It’s that twelve-inch pink sonic toothbrush you pointed out to me.”

 

Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 14/February/2019

 

I hope you like this Rory!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Valentines Day Poem – Passion Fashion.

sunset hands love woman
Photo by Stokpic on Pexels.com

I have often said that I don’t DO Valentine’s day, It is just a commercial load of tripe, but I have succumbed to the pressure and have written a love poem. I suppose there must be something in the air (not just the air freshener).

 

Passion Fashion

It seems passion is in fashion

For today at least,

But I prefer something

Longer lasting than

This particular Saints day feast.

Something durable,

Intimate, Uncurable,

And totally insurable.

A love that means I’m bitten,

By a life-long love bug,

A totally smitten kitten,

Just waiting for its hug.

So, for me, today is just the same

As all the ones that come and go,

They may not have the fancy name,

Of Valentines, but I hope you know,

That, to me love is not just a game,

A flighty ebb and flow,

But seriously, deliriously

I will always love you so.

 

Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 14/February/2019

 

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/02/14/rdp-thursday-intimate/

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/02/14/smitten/

FOWC with Fandango — Durable

https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/02/14/your-daily-word-prompt-passion-february-14-2019/

 

My Zealous Heart

At my most basic self,

I have a zealous heart.

I always set out to do things right,

from the very start.

If a job is worth the doing

it’s worth doing well,

That’s what I always try to do

I hope it’s something you can tell.

A zealous heart truly is

a dreadful pain, you know?

I find it hard to simply let it be,

It has to be ‘just so’.

That’s the case for everything,

but more importantly

above all things, I have to have

the perfect cup of tea.

 

Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 19/August/2018

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2018/08/19/zealous/

https://swimmersweek.wordpress.com/2018/08/19/heart/

https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2018/08/19/your-daily-word-prompt-basic-august-19th-2018/

 

 

 

 

Manic Monday’s 3 Way Prompt – Gift of your Heart.

This Story was written in response to Laura M Bailey’s Manic Monday’s 3-way challenge.

See Link:

https://alltheshoesiwear.wordpress.com/2018/11/19/manic-mondays-3-way-prompt-heart/

You may also wish to read my previous entry for the 3-way challenge:

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2018/11/12/manic-mondays-3-way-prompt-the-singer/

IMG_1515942600722

The Word: Heart

 

When my life was in a shambles

and I was totally in a mess

You’d put your arm around me

and take away my distress, 

 

You’d dried each jewel-like tear

with a tender, loving kiss

but greatest of all, my dear, 

it’s your laughter that I miss.

 

You gave your heart to me,

so peaceful, calm, at rest, 

But how I wish that it could be,

still beating hard within your chest.

 

Now you’ve gone, and I’m alone.

You promised we’d never part.

But your love for me has shown,

I will always have your heart. 

 

Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 19/November/2018

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2018/11/19/shambles/

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2018/11/19/rdp-monday-jewel/comment-page-1/#comment-6450

 

 

My Jaded Heart – A sad poem.

affection board broken broken hearted
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

My diary tells the story,

The pages wet with tears,

Of the many lonely hours,

And all the wasted years.

 

Once I wrote of youthful hopes,

Now my face is old and jaded,

My outer shell reflects my soul,

Where all my dreams have sadly faded.

 

Happiness was not predicted,

Not an aspect of my astral chart

Of love pains, I’ve never been afflicted,

But beats softly, my jaded heart.

 

Copyright: Kristian Fogarty – 05/November/2019

 

I have included the following word prompts:

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/11/05/jaded/

FOWC with Fandango — Diary

https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/11/05/your-daily-word-prompt-aspect-november-5-2019/

 

 

 

Loves New Spring – A Pantoum

Yesterday evening was my final creative writing class…

The exercise was to write a story or poem about the ‘Last’ of something.

I bravely decided to write a Pantoum about the last day of Winter.

If you are not familiar with that form of poetry, it is quite restrictive and complicated.

The rhyming pattern is ABAB and the second and fourth line of the first stanza become the first and third of the second stanza, then the final stanza also has the first and third lines of the first stanza repeated as the second and last lines.  I said it was complicated, didn’t I?

Anyway here it is:

Loves New Spring

The final days of Winter came at last,

But still held the world in her icy grasp.

I looked back on dark days that had passed,

And feel loves painful grip unclasp.

 

It still held the world in her icy grasp,

But Winters harsh hand seemed to lift.

I feel loves painful grip unclasp,

Time healing that deep emotional rift.

 

The Winters harsh hand seems to lift,

And robins above begin their singing.

Time healing that deep emotional rift.

The pain around my heart unclinging.

 

Red robins above begin their singing,

Heralding winters passing breath.

The Pain around my heart unclinging,

But still, I cry for our love’s death.

 

In heralding winters passing breath,

I look back on dark days that have passed.

I mourned for our love’s fateful death,

Now Winter’s time recedes at last.

 

The End

 

Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 06/July/2018

 

FOWC with Fandango — Love

A Valentine’s Revelation. – A Poem.

A Guy Called Bloke has set a challenge, to write a story or poem about a Valentine’s day card and a Cherub. Here is the post if you like to have a go:

Valentine’s for Luvvies Challenge 2019 . 1

4

Well, I don’t believe in Valentine’s day. I think it is a load of commercial rubbish. I won’t be taking part in it at all. Love is for 365 days a year not just for Valentine’s day. But I just can’t resist a challenge from that Guy Called Bloke, so here is a poem that should tug at the old heartstrings, and meet the requirements of the prompt. 🙂

 

A Valentine’s Revelation

He vowed never to send a Valentine’s card,

it was something he just wouldn’t start.

He was clear from the beginning

to his love, who was willing,

to accept that she never get a red paper heart.

 

No Red roses despatched by courier mail,

On a cold wintry February day.

No chocolates in boxes

or cuddly toy foxes,

He’d made positively clear it just wasn’t his way.

 

Then he gazed down at the present she’d made him,

at the cot and the cherub inside,

He admitted that here,

was a love gift, most dear,

With this valentines present, he’s so happy, he cried.

 

baby sleeping on white cotton
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 07/February/2019

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/02/07/revelation/