He sat in the oppressive atmosphere of his laboratory.
Steam hissed and puffed and all around beakers and tubes bubbled over flames.
He turned to look at one of his petri dishes under a microscope and adjusted the angle of the lens then twisted the dial to further magnify the image of the specimen.
“Eureka!” he cried out. Imitating one of the giants of the ancient world, Archimedes.
“I have done it! I have created life!”
The Microscopic life form seemed to tremble as if it heard his creator’s cries.
Tiny though it was, the creature multiplied and grew until it filled the dish, then it spilled out and spread across the laboratory bench, covering the surface with a barely detected film. It reached out and touched its creator’s hand, in a strange parody of that wonderous ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, as painted by Michaelangelo.
Within moments, this new creature had penetrated the professor’s body and coated his lungs preventing their ability to take the oxygen from the air.
He became its first victim, but he wasn’t to be its last.
Dr Frankenstein’s monster had nothing on this organism. It became known as the Armageddon virus.
Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 22/January/2019
I keep hearing about how ‘Adverbs’ are the enemy and how if you want to write you need to remove all the adverbs. I think I tend to use a lot of adverbs when I write, and I think it has something to do with the fact that I am English and we use a lot of adverbs when we speak. ‘Awfully’, ‘Terribly’, ‘Quite’, ‘Only’.
Often when we call people on the phone we say “It’s ‘ONLY’ me”. We pepper our words with unnecessary polite words that actually add nothing.
However, when we write we are trying to capture the way real people speak, and if I do that, I am going to add lots of Adverbs because that is the way I speak.
Anyway, this is by way of an explanation. I have taken the story I wrote earlier, see the link if you wish to read the original version, and I have removed most of the adverbs.
Please let me know if you think this is actually a better version.
What do you think about this Adverb Vendetta? Are Adverbs our enemy or is it all getting a bit out of hand?
A Moment in Paradise
“What could be a lovelier setting than a beautiful orange grove?” That’s what my Mother said to me the day we arrived in Downham Springs.
It was her way of consoling me. I was Nine years old and I missed England. My brother was Five and seemed to have coped much better with the journey than I had. Two months on board a boat had not been very pleasant. We were crammed in with lots of other families that had taken the ten-pound package. The weather as we sailed around the horn of Africa had been terrible. The crew kept reassuring us that it was normal but my stomach was having none of it. I realised that Boats and my stomach were just not compatible. The best thing about the journey was all the food that was available. When we’d left England, rationing was in full swing. My mother thought it was so funny when my Brother and I were introduced to bananas for the first time. She just stood there laughing as we tried to bite through the skin. Then she showed us how to peel them. She said she used to love them before the war. It wasn’t just bananas but also juicy oranges, melons, and pineapples. If it hadn’t been for the rough sea and my poor sea legs it wouldn’t have been a bad journey after all.
Continue reading Adverbless version – A Moment In Paradise