Twittering Tales – Love Biscuits – A tale in 280 Characters.

Photo by Oleg Magni at


“See her over at the bus stop? She used to create the loveliest biscuits in the world. You know what the secret ingredient was?” Sally asked.

“No. What?”

“Love” She replied.

“Is that why they were the best in the world?”

“No dear, that’s why the hygiene inspectors closed her down.”

[279 Characters]

This story was written for Kat Myrman’s Twittering Tales Challenge, click on the link here:

Twittering Tales #121 – 29 January 2019

PS In the United Kingdom what we call Biscuits they refer to as Cookies in the United States – Just in case you didn’t know. 



An Inspiring Moment – A poem

The Crowd gathered around

The inspiring sound

The clash of the drums

The shake of the ground

Oh! What theatre,

That stirs the heart,

That loves unbound

And wonders impart.

Maybe the brass band was a bit too much,

A gesture, most kind,

But an extravagant touch.

Not really appropriate

For that most holy place on earth.

The moment that accompanies,

The miracle of birth.

Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 05/December/2018

Manic Monday’s 3 Way Prompt – I’d rather be Frozen than Wet – A Song.

Yes, I know it’s now Wednesday but I have got a little behind (No personal comments please 😉 ) 

I have written a Christmas parody song, I think you’ll be able to guess which song it is based on.

This Song was written in response to Laura M Bailey’s Manic Monday’s 3-way challenge.

See Link:

You may also wish to read my previous entry for the 3-way challenge:

The Word: FROZEN

I’d Rather be Frozen than Wet

Oh, the weather outside is Awful,

All this rain should be made unlawful

I stare at all this mud below

And cry, make it snow, make it snow, make it snow.


I worry I’ll end up drowning,

When instead I’d rather be clowning,

In a frozen land all white, aglow

Please make it snow, make it snow, make it snow.


I want to frolic in the frozen white.

I’d rather be frozen than wet.

I put money on snow on Christmas night,

and I really want to win my bet.


I want to light a warm winter fire

And drink Snowballs*, that’s my desire.

But the Woods too damp to make it so.

Please, make it snow, make it snow, make it snow.

Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 5th December 2018 with obvious tribute to Sammy Cahn and Jule Styne who wrote the wonderful song, Let it Snow.

Snowballs* are a drink made with Advocaat (similar to Eggnog) mixed with Lemonade, it is commonly drunk at Christmas by people who want to enter into the festivities but not drink anything strong. It is often the first alcoholic drink that children are allowed to drink (with more lemonade). 

I have also included the word RAIN:

A Multiple Word Prompt Story – A Fatal Alliance.

Today’s things are: death, humor, stupid


It was a most unlikely alliance.

Death held out a bony hand, protruding from his black flowing cape. The other hand still grasping the blood-stained scythe.

The other figure stood on two legs in an awkward fashion, with its body stooped as it grasped deaths hand in its own. One bony the other fleshy and hirsute.

The figure’s heavy brow raised and it gave an eager grin. Death had granted the creature and its descendants the ability to learn and evolve.

Death, being a skeleton, was incapable of smiling but he displayed good humour in other ways.

When the stupid figure lumbered off to continue its lowly existence, Death skipped off in the other direction, jumping and clicking his heels in a show of triumph.

Stupid though this creature was, Death knew that it would eventually evolve into an animal that would be responsible for more deaths than any other.

He had made an alliance with humankind’s ultimate nemesis: Humankind.


Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 27/September/2018

A Man with Eclectic Tastes – A silly poem.

Picture from the WordPress free Library – Pexels.


A Man with Eclectic Tastes

His tastes were truly eclectic,

‘though the apartment was rather compact.

It had views of the city, quite hectic

Which made up for the space it so lacked.


On one wall was a painting by Monet,

A copy, but marvellously done,

On another, a Gauguin on display,

With a Pollock, Picasso and Cezanne.


The ceiling was painted bright lilac

The sofa was orange velour

His tastes were quite strange

and I suspected, deranged.

They wouldn’t be copied, I’m sure.


In the bathroom, a mural by Dali

leered out at you from the wall.

I felt a right proper Charlie,

When I screamed at The Scream in the hall.


I admit to feeling unsettled

When he showed me the etchings he’d done

It’s not every day,

You see art done that way,

But I’m sure it will appeal to someone.


Then he uncovered his tattoos

I’m afraid that was the final straw,

When he gave me a wink,

Standing covered in ink,

I just turned and ran out of the door.


Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 21/September/2018

FOWC with Fandango — Compact

A Multiple Word Prompt Poem – Love, Unrequitedly.

This poem was inspired by the following word prompts:

Today’s things are: cheese, feather, game

And I would like to add that this is entirely fictitious with no basis in fact whatsoever.

Love, Unrequitedly


My Mentor thinks he’s so smart,

But there’s an element of doubt

When it comes to affairs of the heart

He can’t seem to work it all out.


I gaze up into his eyes

As he explains how science configures

And I exhale with tender sighs

Oh, How I adore authority figures.


Although they say love is a game.

I’m not sure he knows the rules

It always ends up the same.

Its clear love is a game for fools.


When I gave him an affectionate squeeze,

You could have knocked me down with a feather!

Quicker than you could say cheese.

He ran away, hell for leather.


But there’s plenty more fish in the sea,

So, I won’t let it get me down,

I’m going to enrol at University.

Don’t you just love a nice cap and gown?

The End.


Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 18/September/2018


Keeping Granny on her Toes – A Poem

This poem was written in response to this challenge set by Esther Chilton.

If you want to take part, see the link below:

The challenge was to write something about “Kids”.


Keeping Granny on her Toes


As my cousins and I ran through

granny’s house, leaving carpet skids,

We heard her dulcet tones ring out

screaming “Bloody Kids”.


Granny loved her grandchildren very dearly,

of that we were aware,

‘But why’, thought Granny, ‘did her daughters

use her for free childcare?’


She chased us around her garden beds

with her garden hose.

We all thought it was our duty,

to keep dear Granny on her toes.


But although she used to swear,

and shout when we behaved ‘full-on’,

Granny gave us all the best of hugs,

and I miss her now she’s gone.


Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 13/September/2018

The Muckleton Mothers Guild Meeting – A Multiple Word Prompt Story.

This story was inspired by the following word prompts:


Picture from Pixabay

The Local Wives and Mothers Guild of the little village of Muckleton-in-the-Marsh were having their weekly meeting.

They had already gone through the agenda, in a rather circuitous way, via all the gossip about everyone who wasn’t present, and now arrived at the most important item.

They needed to answer the most burning question. What was going to be their next fundraising project?

“Why not have a Pumpkin Carving competition? They had one last year over in Eckythorpe and they raised nearly two hundred pounds” Said Mrs Bottomley the Bankers wife.

“That’s no good” responded Mrs Palmer the Farmers wife “The weather’s been so poor we don’t have enough Pumpkins to go round. We could try it with turnips?”

“Who wants to pay to carve a turnip?” Said Mrs Prim the Florist.

“I know,” Said Old Granny Applebottom, their oldest member who at Ninety Seven years old had buried three husbands and so rumour would have it was on the look-out for number four. For her age she was surprisingly agile of mind and body, although her skin had so many wrinkles on it, it looked as though someone twice her size had tried it on and stretched it. Respectfully they all turned to listen to what their oldest and wisest member had to say.

“I saw a film about it and it was based on a true story. A group of ladies wanted to raise enough money for something so they decided to do one of those naughty naked calendars. They raised a fortune, apparently. Come on, let’s look it up on the computer.” She went over to the guild’s computer, kindly donated by Mr Pratt the Solicitor who had upgraded to something with a faster download. They had found all his dirty pictures on it and managed to bribe him into giving them a new table and chairs, a new tea and coffee set and the promise of free legal advice whenever they needed it.

Mrs Crabb, the guild secretary, typed in the name of the film, as given her by Granny Applebottom and eventually a picture built up on the screen.

They all gathered around to look at it. It showed several middle-aged to slightly more mature ladies gathered round a piano naked but with various objects hiding their unmentionables. The Knitwear and crochet work was very well placed.

Despite Granny Applebottom’s eagerness and protestations at how lucrative it could be, the general consensus was that they would do a tapestry competition instead.

The End.


Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 04/September/2018

A Silly Joke for you.

A Gremlin, a Zombie and a Poltergeist walk into a bar.


The barman, who had seen everything in his time didn’t bat an eyelid.


“What’ll it be?” He asked them.


“I’ll have your blood,” Said the Gremlin, licking his lips.

“Brains,” Said the Zombie, mindlessly.

“I’ll have your soul” exclaimed the poltergeist grinning with insane energy.


“Oh No!” Exclaimed the barman, “Don’t tell me it’s election time again!”



Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 04/September/2018


This was written in response to The Haunted Wordsmith’s Three Things Challenge and also the Ragtag Word Prompt. (so blame them not me 😉 )



A Serendipitous Limerick

There was a young fellow from Cromer

Who was a bit of a roamer

He left lots to chance,

a serendipity dance

and ended up King of the Roma. 


Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 01/July/2018