A little bit of Mirth – A Steve Layne Monologue

Back when I first started blogging in March I wrote my first monologue and created the character of Steve Layne. He is an actor with a flamboyant way of speaking. You get the impression that his life isn’t quite as good as the one his ego projects.

See here to read the first one:

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2018/03/12/a-captive-audience-a-monologue/

I then wrote another monologue with the same character in April.

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2018/04/17/after-the-play-a-steve-layne-monologue/

 

So here we see him once again, in his dressing room, getting ready for a performance.

Someone enters to find him staring off into space with a tear in his eye.

“Oh, hi there, I didn’t see you come in. You caught me unawares. Yes, I suppose I did look a bit melancholy.

I was just thinking about my life. It hasn’t been a bed of roses, that’s for sure, well maybe the thorns.

Would you be a dear and pass me one of those tissues?

Thanks love. There that’s better, I wouldn’t want my mascara to run. I could just hear the critics now ‘Steve Layne looks like a Panda on heat in his latest performance of Hamlet’. No, actually I’m not doing Hamlet, despite being in the mood for it. No, I’m in a comedy at the moment. It’s one I wrote myself actually. It’s called “A little bit of Mirth”. The main character is an actor who is struggling to find work and so reinvents himself as a stand-up comedian only to have a heart attack on stage, but the audience all think its part of the act and start laughing. No, it couldn’t happen to me, I’m as fit as a fiddle. I had a checkup just last week actually. Nothing wrong with my heart. They are a bit concerned about the skin lesions, but the theatrical make-up hides those, thank heavens.

I must say the reviews have been quite kind. One of them even spelt my name right. I’ve been called all sorts, you know. Stephen Lain, Steve Lean and even once Dave Conti, God knows why. So, it was nice they spelt it right. L.A.Y.N.E That’s right, with a Y and an E.

Oh, are you with a newspaper then? Oh, you write a blog, do you? You know, I thought I recognised you from somewhere. Yes, I was in the Pink Panther club last Thursday. Oh, that was you was it? Look, I’m sorry about that, I didn’t mean to run out and leave you with the Cab to pay for. It was your gold filling I accidentally swallowed, was it? Wild times, I do get a bit crazy when I’m on the Pernod.

Oh, thank you, Yes, I wouldn’t mind seeing you again next Thursday. It’s an Abba tribute night. That’s OK you can be Agnetha I prefer Anni-Frid anyway. Of course, you can see my Fernando anytime! Oh, you did. Well, I was very drunk, I can’t really remember.

Right, I must get ready for the show now. I have to say I am feeling in a much better mood now than I was earlier, all my Melancholy has turned to Mirth. Tell Ted out front that I said you could have a seat at the back, no love, It’s my way of saying thank you. It’s never busy anyway on Friday nights, I think there must be something good on Telly tonight.

Let me know what you think. Yes, I am quite happy for you to put a review on your blog. Only, be kind.”

The End

Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 20/July/2018

 

I have used the following word prompts:

Word of the Day: Mirth

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2018/07/20/mirth/

Fandango One Word Challenge: Melancholy

FOWC with Fandango — Melancholy

Ragtag Daily Prompt: Gold.

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2018/07/20/rdp-50-gold/

 

My Fantasy Story – Part 18, Sorry it’s Late

I have been posting instalments of the Fantasy story I wrote about 17 years ago every Sunday and Wednesday afternoons. Except last Sundays was posted on Monday and this is now Wednesday’s instalment. I apologise for the delay.

Well better late than never, here is the next part.

If you would like to read it from the start, this is the first part:

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2018/05/26/a-fantasy-tale-part-one/

Part Eighteen

In the sheltered little Savarian town of Hardensford, Lara and her group were encamped. The weather had turned foul. Strong winds and torrential rain had made travelling impossible. The town was situated on the main highway from the City of Savarias, now a day’s ride to the South and the District of Albana still at least a day’s ride North. The highway had once been paved with slabs of stone but had been damaged in the Civil war as part of the Red Army’s strategy of preventing the Imperial troops from being able to move quickly. The fact that the road had not yet been rebuilt demonstrated how important the District of Savarias was to the new regime. The torrential rain had turned the road into a number of stone islands between patches of mud. For two days the wind had howled, the rain had fallen and the lightning had stuck. The towns weathermen predicted that it would last for another five days. The weathermen, with their collection of sayings and superstitions were about as reliable as a cockerel in the hen-coop, but it looked like this time they were right. The town of Hardensford had become their prison. It seemed like it would have been a pleasant town in kinder weather. It had developed as the meeting place of the farms in the area to gather and sell their wares and also it was a stopping point for merchants travelling between the City of Savarias and the more lucrative markets to the North. It was also one of the places you could usually cross the River Arden, when the ford wasn’t completely flooded as was currently the case. They were trapped in Hardensford until either the river levels fell enough to use the ford or the roads dried up enough to travel upriver to the village of Coltswood, about five miles away, which had a ferry. 

Continue reading My Fantasy Story – Part 18, Sorry it’s Late