“I Delateyou for the shameless hussy that you are!” He shouted at her through the letterbox.
The neighbours gathered round to hear the latest slinging match. The two moved in just a year ago and it had been constant drama and arguments ever since.
“I know he’s in there with you!” He screamed.
The window upstairs opened and his wife emerged, a pink satin dressing gown wrapped around her slinky shoulders.
“Will you keep it down! I have had it up to here with your petty jealousies. You used to be my Knight in shining armour but that soon fizzled out. You just couldn’t live up to the promises. That’s it, I want a Divorce!”
“I know Steve’s up there with you. You gave me your pledge that it was all over. Well if you want a Divorce, you can have one. You can have the house but I want the car, the Wifi, The Umbrellaand of course, I want custody of Oliver.”
“Oh, No you don’t, you are not having custody of Oliver. You can’t have him.”
“Just watch me”. He smashed open the front door, forgetting that they always kept a spare key under the mat and ran into the house.
He emerged ten minutes later with a bright orange Umbrella tucked under his arm, the Wifi box held by its cable between his teeth and carrying a large aquatic tank.
Inside the tank was a small Octopus, swimming around, appearing to enjoy the ride.
His wife screamed from the window “Nooo! Bring back Oliver, he’s my Octopus!”
With everything he’d been carrying placed in the back of his car. He drove off into the sunset.
The neighbours applauded. Shakespeare had nothing on these two.