The Ballad of Ted and Flo – A Raunchier Genre Challenge

broken heart love sad
Photo by burak kostak on Pexels.com

This poem was written for the Genre Challenge:

https://thehauntedwordsmith.wordpress.com/2019/04/05/genre-writing-challenge-april-5/

Today’s genre and image:

Spicy: a romance in which married characters work to resolve their problems.

 

I have also included the following Word Prompts:

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/04/05/collar/

https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/04/05/your-daily-word-prompt-plenty-april-5-2019/

https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/04/05/your-daily-word-prompt-flurry-april-4-2019/

FOWC with Fandango — Condone

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/04/05/rdp-friday-laundry/

 

The Ballad of Ted and Flo

Florence and Ted

Were happily wed

But something had gone off the boil

So, one day they decided

And to me, confided

to start rubbing each other in oil.

 

Now I don’t usually condone,

This new raunchier tone,

But there’s a lesson to be learned in all this.

For while there is fun and surprises

In wearing disguises

It doesn’t always end in connubial bliss.

 

Flo told me then

It had all gone wrong when

Ted had suggested they try some role-play

She played a laundress

But it caused much distress

Doing nothing but laundry day after day.

 

Then apparently Ted

Suggestively said

That Flo fitted him with a tight collar

This caused a flurry

And Flo had to hurry

When Ted turned bright red and started to Holler.

 

Now there’s plenty to be said

For trying fun in bed,

But be sure you choose the right way

For Ted and poor Flo

This just wasn’t so

And Flo moved in with me yesterday.

 

Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 05/April/2019

 

I hope you enjoyed this light-hearted poem. 🙂

The Other Side of Love – A weird poem.

OK. I admit it, this one’s a weird one. It was written for The Haunted Wordsmith’s Genre Challenge, see the link below:

https://thehauntedwordsmith.wordpress.com/2019/03/20/genre-writing-challenge-17/

Today’s Genre is Paranormal Romance. Not something I have written before, and I started writing a story, but for some reason, it kept rhyming, so I rewrote it as a poem instead.

Here you go.

Every night I wait here

Laying on my bed,

I can feel you next to me,

Your hand upon my head.

No one else can see you,

Though I can hear your words

To others its incoherent noise,

Like the babbling of the birds.

My love is like a radar

Tuning carefully into you,

I can sense your tender touch,

Your warmth is coming through.

You said you’d never abandon me,

And now I believe it’s true,

You’re here with me, eternally,

We’ll always be, ‘Us two’.

I find myself spending all my days

Just waiting for the time,

When I hear your ‘come hither’ call,

Those moments most sublime.

Those are the times I treasure most,

Laying tenderly with you in my bed,

Even though you are a ghost,

I love you more since you’ve been dead.

 

Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 20/March/2019

 

I have also included the following word prompts:

Word of the Day: Incoherent

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/03/20/incoherent/

Ragtag Daily Prompt: Abandon

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/03/20/rdp-wednesday-abandon/

FOWC with Fandango: Radar

FOWC with Fandango — Radar

Your daily word: Hither.

https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/03/20/your-daily-word-prompt-hither-march-20-2019/

 

Genre Challenge – Romantically Involved.

Today’s Genre: Romance.

https://thehauntedwordsmith.wordpress.com/2019/03/12/genre-challenge-9/

FOWC with Fandango — Opening

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/03/12/action/

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/03/12/rdp-tuesday-diurnal/

https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/03/12/your-daily-word-prompt-treasure-march-12-2019/

 

They met again after many years. They had been close friends at college but had drifted apart since. Their careers were diametrically opposed. The life of an actor was not compatible with most normal jobs. A creature of the performing arts was often a nocturnal one, whereas most jobs and careers were diurnal with early starts that meant the nighttime was reserved for precious sleep.

However bumping into each other, it was clear from the way their breathing had become laboured, and a rosy glow developed in their cheeks, that the old feelings hadn’t died.

Desperate for an opening, he cleared his throat and said: “You’re looking well.”

“Thank you, I’ve been ill recently, but I’m better now”,

“Oh, what was wrong? Nothing too serious, I hope.”

A silence descended upon them again.

Anyone viewing the scene would have been able to cut the atmosphere with a knife. There was a tension there, a desperate yearning to speak, to spill out a tirade of emotions, of unrequited actions.

Instead, the young man said “Well, it was very nice bumping into you again. After all these years”

“Yes, wasn’t it. Are you still acting?”

“Yes, when I can get work. I have just been in a film, it won’t be out for another three months and it was only a small part, but it was nice to have some work. Are you still teaching?”

Their eyes met as they simultaneously remembered their last encounter. How they had expressed their love in the fullest physical way and spent the night in each other’s arms as if nothing else mattered. Only, in the morning, the reality of what they had done, of who they were, came crushing in on them.

That memory was a treasure, they say you never forget your first time, he had never forgotten it, or him.

“Well, I had better let you get on, it was a pleasure to meet you again.” He put out a hand, just beginning to show the advance of age. It matched the grey hairs on his temples and the fine lines around those warm brown eyes.

The young man grasped the hand in his, a strangely anticlimactic physical contact when compared to that memory.

“Yes, I had better be going. Goodbye.”

He quickly walked away down the street and turned the corner before resting against the wall and releasing a breath.

His first love.

The End

 

Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 12/March/2019

 

I haven’t written much in this genre of romance. Was it romantic? Or was it just awkward? Maybe that is was romance is often like, for those struggling to come to terms with certain things.

 

A multiple word prompt short story – A Hopeless Romantic

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2018/07/09/rejuvenate/

REJUVENATE

https://fivedotoh.com/2018/07/09/fowc-with-fandango-lesson/

LESSON

https://thehauntedwordsmith.wordpress.com/2018/07/09/three-things-challenge-09-july-2018/

Today’s things are: museum, sneeze, romance

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2018/07/09/rdp-39-dart/

DART

https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2018/07/09/your-daily-word-prompt-kerfuffle-july-9th-2018/

KERFUFFLE

A Hopeless Romantic

I am a hopeless romantic, it has to be said. I love a bit of romance, but it never works out the way it does in books, does it?

I remember taking this lovely creature to one of the most romantic places I could think of. What could be more romantic than the Hunterian museum in London? It is the museum for the royal college of surgeons and is full of dissected body parts preserved in formaldehyde. What could put you in the mood for love better than staring at someone’s body preserved in a jar?

Well that date didn’t end well.

Then on another date, I took the lucky girl to the Portrait gallery. Unfortunately, I was allergic to her perfume, La Nuit d’amour, which made me sneeze everywhere. If you see a portrait in the gallery with a green mark in the bottom left hand corner, that was me. I also managed to sneeze over her too. So that didn’t work out.

I’ve learned my lesson now, I always take an antihistamine now before heading out on a date, just in case.

On my last date I took her on a spa weekend. Personally, I felt she took offence far too easily. I only said that she could do with something to rejuvenate her? I pointed out that her Crows feet were much more reduced in size after the face peel. Maybe she was just annoyed that I insisted we split the bill when It was clear an invite back to her place was out of the question. I had to dart left pretty sharpish to avoid her slap. As I dodged out-of-the-way she accidentally ended up hitting the Manageress behind me. What a kerfuffle THAT caused. I posted bail for her, but was she grateful? No.

I suppose I am just no good at picking the right girl.

I’ve joined an online dating agency now, so fingers crossed.

I’ve got pretty high standards though.

The End

 

Disclaimer: This story is totally fictitious, please do not make any assumptions about me from this story 😉

Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 09/July/2018

Three Things Challenge, 10th June 2018

This is a Three Things Challenge as set by the haunted wordsmith, see link below:

https://thehauntedwordsmith.wordpress.com/2018/06/10/three-things-challenge-10-june-2018/

Here are the three words for 10 June 2018: boy, hobbit, romance

 

Here is my attempt:

 

Every Christmas it was the same routine. She always got up first and started the breakfast. Then for the only time in the whole year her two kids would get up without her having to yell up the stairs at them. 

Jennifer and Jonathan, or Jenn and Jojo as they want to be called at the moment, would still play fight as they tried to be the first ones to get to the presents under the tree. 

“Wait, you have to wait until after Christmas dinner to open your presents. Grandma’s coming and your Auntie Jocelyn and Uncle Peter. They’re bringing your cousins Eric and Abigail too. I want you to all open your presents at the same time.”

Continue reading Three Things Challenge, 10th June 2018