Another Silly Rhyme – A Bash on the Noggin.

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Photo by Kat Jayne on Pexels.com

 

 

I am a rather impulsive chap,

Unfortunately, it has to be said.

The other day, I got in a flap

and totally lost my head.

I thought I’d got an Intruder

so I bashed them on the noggin,

With my hand-knitted draught excluder

I gave them one hell of a floggin’

You can imagine my total dismay

when they rolled over and I Saw

the Postman with his letter’s in disarray

and a parcel that was meant for next door.

I’m sorry for the postman’s headache

and I couldn’t be more distraught

It was a totally honest mistake

I just hope that he’ll settle out of court.

 

Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 22nd May 2020

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2020/05/22/rdp-friday-settle/

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2020/05/22/noggin/

 

Chelsea Owens is also hosting a weekly Hilarity contest, click on the link below to have a look at her latest post:

The Weekly Hilarity Contest 5/16 – 5/22/2020

 

 

 

Another Silly Rhyme – Forgotten Symphony.

 

This silly poem was inspired by the following word prompts:

 

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2018/08/22/symphony/

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2018/08/22/rdp-83-remember/

https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2018/08/22/your-daily-word-prompt-adorable-august-22nd-2018/

https://fivedotoh.com/2018/08/22/fowc-with-fandango-resonate/

 

 

I sat down to write a symphony

Like the great composers of yesterday

Something to resonate inside of me

It seems people couldn’t care less today

Of things like melody or harmony,

Tunes that make you want to sing along

Remember music from those golden days?

You just cannot beat an old-time song.

“You’re adorable, Miss Florabel,

Let’s go down to the garden wall,

I’d like to kiss your hand, madam

If you let me be your little lamb”.

OK so maybe those great songs of old,

were not so great or even gold.

Maybe they were a little twee,

So, whoops-a-daisy, woe is me.

I’ll go back to writing poetry,

And leave those old songs where they belong,

Forgotten, like my Symphony.

 

Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 22/August/2018

The Incongruous Overture – A Silly Poem

This was originally posted a year ago, but I thought it deserved another airing. 😉 

I hope you find it uplifting

 

At the Piano, he banged the keys

The audience fell to their knees

It was an Overture most grand

The most bravado piano playing

In all the land.

But something wasn’t quite

The way it should have been, that night.

For while the audience enjoyed the fuss

There was something quite incongruous.

The scene was electric, that’s all right,

But it was quite an awesome sight,

For while they wore scarves and hats,

They were all a bunch of alley cats,

And while it can be said, quite true

That alley cats like music too,

They don’t often like an overture,

There’s something else they much prefer,

Something Jazzy, Sassy, lots of beat,

Something to which they can move their feet.

But this lot sat and watched chief Pussy,

Playing Mendelsohn and then Debussy.

It all seemed like a glorious joke,

Then all of a sudden, I awoke

To the sound of my own cat’s scream,

It had all been a rather silly dream!

As if any cat would listen, acute!

They hate the piano, they prefer the flute.

 

Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 14/December/2018

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2018/12/14/incongruous/

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2018/12/14/rdp-friday-overture/

 

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/12/03/uplifting/

Some Silliness – Share Your World and Mr Impy asks some questions.

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Melanie B Cee on her Blog, Sparks from a Combustible Mind, regularly posts her Share the World post, which asks questions. See her post here:

https://sparksfromacombustiblemind.com/2019/03/18/share-your-world-3-18-19/

Also, A Guy Called Bloke, who I call Mr Impy because of his mischievous impishness has also posed some intriguing questions. See his post here:

7 and Three Quarters Nutty

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QUESTIONS

1) Do You Have Any Guilty Pleasures? –

I have many, many guilty pleasures. I like to dunk my biscuits (cookies) in my tea. I like to eat cold baked beans straight out of the tin and I take great pleasure in watching very old movies and T.V programmes that others may think are too old. I am talking Anna Neagle, Greer Garson and even Laurel and Hardy!

2) What Is The Worst Pick Up Line You Ever Heard?  

        For the guys: What’s The Worst Pick Up Line You’ve Used?

I do not engage in that sort of thing. I’d rather just put my feet up at home and have a nice cup of tea and dunk my biscuits. 

3) What Slang Or Trend Makes You Feel Old?

All of it. I don’t keep up with trends or slang. I don’t really have any interest in it either. When people use Internet slang on their blogs or messages I have to look it up to see what they mean. I have occasionally been guilty of using LOL but only since I found out it meant Laugh out Loud rather than Lots of Love. 

4) What Do You Consider The Most Over-rated Song?

Oh, So, So Many. I am bound to annoy people and lose friends when I say that most of whom people consider to be Iconic musicians, I cannot see what the fuss is about. Elvis is probably the last Pop Icon worthy of the title. All else are dross. 

5) You Find A Book And Begin To Read Only To Discover That It Is Your Life. You Get To The Point That You Are At Now, Do You Turn The Page Knowing That You Will Not Be Able To Change The Events To Come?

Unlike a friend of mine, I NEVER read the last page of a book before I get to it. I read the back cover, synopsis then I start from the beginning. I often lose interest but I NEVER Jump forward. I would be the same with a book of my life. I would hope that there is a lot of interesting stuff to come. Ideally, the rest of the book would be blank with the words, “Write your own Adventure” written at the top. 🙂 

 

That was for Melanie’s Share Your World. I hope you appreciate my Bold responses.

Now for Rory’s Nutty questions. Let no one doubt my fidelity to my fellow bloggers.

7 and Three Quarters Nutty Questions

 

  • A cowboy rode into town on Friday. He stayed in town for three days and rode out on Friday. How is that possible?

There is a proper answer to this, that Friday was the name of the horse he rode in on, but there is another possibility. The whole thing happened on another planet where the sun’s orbit is sufficiently shorter that one week is exactly three days and they only have Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

A rooster laid an egg on top of the barn roof. Which way did it roll?

Roosters lay square eggs so it didn’t roll at all.

A truck driver is going down a one way street the wrong way, and passes at least ten cops. Why is he not caught?

Because he is carrying a very large bazooka and looks like a really mean fellow.

A farmer had 752 sheep and took one shot that got them all. How did he do it?

He fired a grenade that then exploded carrying them all, including himself, to kingdom come.

What word is spelled incorrectly in every single dictionary?

Well a lot of words that have a U in them in British English and don’t for American English, an Englishman would consider them spelt wrong in American Dictionaries whereas an American would consider them spelled wrongly in English Dictionaries. Of course, the word Incorrectly is also spelt incorrectly.

What starts with “e” and ends with “e” but only has one letter in it?

An Envelope usually only has one letter in it, but there is nothing stopping anyone from putting more than one letter in, or indeed including something unpleasant, like a dog turd, but only if being sent to a politician.

What two keys can’t open any door?

The Florida Keys, they can’t open any door and of course, Alicia Keys has a huge entourage who are paid to do that sort of thing for her.

Monkeys are perfectly capable of opening doors and if you don’t believe me, try having some privacy in a toilet cubicle surrounded by marauding macaques.

A man went outside in the pouring rain with no protection, but not a single hair on his head got wet. How come?

He had rubbed Nixwax into his hair, or would that count as protection?

He hadn’t got any hair in the first place.

He had an umbrella, he just didn’t carry any protection, ie he was vulnerable to a physical assault or potential producing some unwanted offspring.

Would you rather be trapped in an elevator full of men with BO, three soaked dogs, a basket filled with week-old smelly socks or a box filled with used nappies?

I don’t get into lifts (what we call elevators, by the way) I always use the stairs. Lifts tend to smell of urine and are invariable breaking down.

Would you rather look like an octopus, act like an octopus or be an octopus?

I suppose I’d rather act like an octopus. I could swim around and then spray people with ink if I felt under attack, which is pretty constant.

If you had the world’s attention for 30 seconds, what would you say?

Just shut up, stop whining, whinging and procrastinating (look who’s talking 😉 ) and get on with trying to make the world a better place.

Would you rather be able to copy and paste in real life, or undo in real life?

I would rather create new material than copy and paste but quite often my new material is awful and rather cliched so probably an Undo button would be useful. In fact, maybe I should go back and Undo what I’ve said in this post….

 

So, with any luck, you have found my post amusing and it has made you laugh out loud.

I live in hope, anyway.

 

Have a nice day. 🙂

 

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/03/18/laugh/

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/03/18/rdp-monday-bold/

https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/03/18/your-daily-word-prompt-fidelity-march-18-2019/

 

 

 

The Greatest Dancer – A silly poem

This poem was inspired by the Three Things Challenge set by Theresa the Haunted Wordsmith, It’s great to see her back.

https://thehauntedwordsmith.wordpress.com/2018/08/24/three-things-challenge-24-august-2018/

Today’s things are: flower pot, stereo instructions, dancer

Plus the Word of the Day: Bravado

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2018/08/24/bravado/

and Fandango’s Word: Reflex.

FOWC with Fandango — Reflex

 

The Greatest Dancer

I am the greatest dancer

when I have had a few

Like a noble pony prancer

you’ve seen nothing like I can do

 

I give it everything I’ve got,

with a bravado something keen

around a handbag, or flower pot

with a passion, you’ve never seen.

 

They tell me, I’m something great,

when I get out on the floor,

I kick my feet and while I gyrate,

everyone else runs out the door.

 

I have a reflex like a cat,

that’s what one survivor said

though he was a bit delirious

when I accidentally kicked him in the head.

 

So let me put on my favourite songs

I know that there’ll be major ructions

an exodus of desperate throngs

as I reach for the stereo instructions. 

 

Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 24/August/2018

Picture from Pexels, Free WordPress Picture Library

 

I’m No longer a Spy – A Silly Rhyme

This Spying game,

It’s such a shame,

I’m not cut out for it you see.

When I trail a bloke

I cough and choke

And they find out It’s me.

I’m far too clumsy,

Yes, it’s true,

To be a proper spy.

I trip and fall,

Fall off the wall,

No matter how I try.

I’m no good undercover

I failed miserably at that.

I’m too easy to discover

even if I wear a hat.

I tried going incognito

With a leg that’s lame

Despite being incredibly discreto

I couldn’t remember my sodding name.

It’s far too much to handle

This cloak and daggers lark

I went and caused a scandal

when they found me naked in the dark.

So, I’ve handed in my notice

“It’s for the best” spymaster said.

As a spy, I’m totally hopeless

So, I’ve joined the police instead.

 

Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 15/August/2018

 

This was inspired by the following word prompts:

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2018/08/15/spying/#like-378

FOWC with Fandango — Handle

 

Also, my pal, A guy called bloke, is hosting a murder-mystery challenge, so check it out here:

Are You A Snifty Sleuth?

 

I hope he doesn’t mind, I have borrowed one of his pictures.

 

Credit where credit is due, the featured picture is from pixabay

 

Look Out Below – A Silly Rhyme

“Look out below!” 

The young man said

But too late, it fell

on someone’s head.

 

“Oh dear, I did warn”

Said the young fellow, 

“Before I dropped

that old piano.”

 

But Condolences,

it gave none at all,

the other was killed

by the piano’s fall.

 

“I’ll shout much louder,

Perhaps, ‘Take Cover!’

the next time I try

to push out another.”

 

This tales moral,

Don’t be too slow

when someone shouts out,

“Look out Below!”

 

The End

 

FOWC with Fandango — Below

Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 08/August/2018