The Day The Tin Foil Hats Broke – Revealing the truth.

op

It was something that I’d come to dread

That every thought within my head

would burst from my mouth, as it spoke,

the day the tin foil hats broke.

 

My Uncle said “What is it son?”

For I had turned quite pale and wan,

my face was screwed up really tight

while my thoughts were picked up by satellite.

 

“My tin foil hat has broken!” I cried

My Uncle just looked smug and sighed

“Well, Nephew I wouldn’t worry a jot,

with your brain, it’s not going to reveal a lot”.

 

I had a longing for something that

would keep my thoughts under my hat

My tangled mind, tortured and petty

had spilled its contents like boiling spaghetti.

 

A tangled jungle of vine and fern,

revealed that I had failed to learn,

my head was empty of meaningful things

but I knew by heart the Lord of the Rings.

 

Like a boiled egg, my mind was bare

without any useful facts in there,

My Uncle said “Now you have a mission

“you should become a politician”

 

But still I worried, how could that fly?

When I couldn’t ever tell a lie.

but thankfully, and rather shocking,

a new foil hat was in my Christmas Stocking.

 

This poem was written for A Guy Called Blokes Challenge, see here:

What’s My Story Then #3

I have also included the following word prompts:

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/04/20/rdp-saturday-egg/

https://swimmersweek.wordpress.com/2019/04/20/satelite/

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/04/20/longing/

https://lightmotifs.wordpress.com/2019/04/19/three-things-challenge-pl65/

Today’s prompt: nephew, fern, spaghetti

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Double Haiku – Naughtiness.

 

I can’t recall when,

I had seen a more naughty

April Fool’s Day prank.

 

To Modify that

picture of the President,

to make him look smart!

 

https://swimmersweek.wordpress.com/2019/04/14/april/

https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/04/14/your-daily-word-prompt-modify-april-14-2019/

FOWC with Fandango — Recall

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/04/14/naughty/

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/04/14/rdp-sunday-picture/

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do you recall? – A recap of some of my recent posts.

 

Cheers

You may recall that about a month ago I wrote a recap post to give an overall picture of my short stories and poems.

Click on the link below to see this earlier post:

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/03/17/deja-vu-a-recap-of-some-of-my-recent-posts/

I didn’t want to do a similar post every week, because that would soon get monotonous, but I thought it was time to put together another recap post for some of my stories and poems that I’ve written in April.

 

Poems:

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/04/01/a-foolish-murder-mystery-a-poem-written-for-the-genre-challenge/

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/04/01/kreative-kue-bonfire-of-broken-dreams/

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/04/01/a-purrformance-a-poem-for-kiras-sunday-scribbles/

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/04/04/what-do-you-see-a-daredevil-in-flight/

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/04/05/the-ballad-of-ted-and-flo-a-raunchier-genre-challenge/

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/04/07/star-envy-a-haiku/

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/04/08/earths-last-day-a-poem-for-kiras-sunday-scribbles/

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/04/10/mysterious-ways-a-short-poem/

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/04/11/dreaming-of-fairies/

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/04/11/what-do-you-see-a-sensible-ideology/

 

Short Stories:

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/04/02/genre-challenge-a-lonely-existence/

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/04/03/genre-challenge-penitent-hostage/

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/04/03/i-caught-a-fish-it-was-this-big-a-story-for-rory-a-guy-called-bloke/

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/04/12/a-pantomime-joke/

 

I always considered myself to be more of a story writer, with Poetry just being an occasional aside. Seeing as how the number of poems I have recently in the last two weeks compared to the number of stories, I think I’ll have to modify my view slightly….

Enjoy your Sunday 🙂

 

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/04/14/rdp-sunday-picture/

FOWC with Fandango — Recall

https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/04/14/your-daily-word-prompt-modify-april-14-2019/

https://swimmersweek.wordpress.com/2019/04/14/april/

 

 

 

 

A DNA Disclosure – A Genre Challenge Story

Teresa, The Haunted Wordsmith has set a Genre Challenge to write something in a particular genre. Click on the link to her post below:

https://thehauntedwordsmith.wordpress.com/2019/03/23/genre-writing-challenge-20/

Todays Genre is: Medical Mystery 

Here is my FICTIONAL story:

 

I was never sure of my identity. I grew up in an orphanage never knowing who my parents were, or if I had any family out there. It made me feel extremely lonely. Like I was the only one of my kind, on a planet full of aliens.

Gradually, I managed to make a way in the world. I excelled at school and college, even doing so well as to get a scholarship to attend a very prestigious university. Always people said how great it was that I had overcome such hardship in my life. In some ways, I had an advantage. No one else tried to force me to be someone they thought I should be. I didn’t have to follow in someone else’s footsteps or live the life that someone had wanted for themselves. I didn’t feel I had to constantly please someone else, I had only myself to live up to and only myself to please.

It was years later, I began to wonder again about where I had come from, what my roots were. Did I have any relatives alive out there? I didn’t really want to meet them. It would feel weird running up to them saying, “Hi. I’m your distant cousin, let’s pretend to be very close friends even though we actually know nothing about each other.”

Genetic science had come on leaps and bounds in the last few years, the human genome had been mapped entirely and DNA tests had become a bit of a fad. Everyone was doing it and finding out that they had 3% Neanderthal in their DNA or were distantly related to the British Royal Family.

I decided to buy a pack and find out more about myself. I spat into the tube and posted it off. It felt a bit strange sending some spit in the mail. It just seemed wrong to send bodily fluids in the post.

I was expecting to receive a pack giving me my results but instead, I received an invitation from DNA Science Laboratories in L.A all expenses paid.

It seemed too good to be true, but I hadn’t had a holiday in years and I’d never been to the States so I thought “What the hell, why not?”

I was greeted at the airport by a bored looking chauffeur holding a card with my name on it, spelt all wrong, of course, and before I knew it we were speeding across L.A to the headquarters of the DNA Science Laboratories.

When I walked into the meeting room, I was astounded to find myself in front of an assemblage of distinguished looking scientists all seated around a large table.

A man at the head of the table stood up.

“Ah, Welcome Mr Berkshire”

I couldn’t help cringing as he mispronounced my name, like all Yanks. I was named after the County the Orphanage was in, Berkshire was pronounced Bark, like a dog, not Berk to rhyme with quirk. It was a common mistake, as was spelling the name Barkshire, instead of Berkshire.

The man continued. “Please take a seat. You must be thirsty after your long trip. Have some water. I wanted to thank you for coming all this way. It’s really exciting to meet you. Your DNA is the most impressive I have ever seen.”

He sounded impressed too. All the other scientists around the table were leaning forward looking at me like I had come first prize at a freak show. I reached over and poured out a glass of water from the jug in front of me and drank it down in one go.

“look, I just wanted to find out a little about where my family had come from. I’m an orphan and so didn’t know anything about my background.”

“I see. Yes, that would explain why you sent us your DNA so willingly. If you’d known, you would have remained hidden.”

There was something about the way he said that, that I didn’t like. I stood up but then my head started spinning. I remember feeling delirious and fuzzy headed, then there was just darkness.

***

I came to, blinking at the light flooding my eyes. I was lying on a hospital bed, I could feel my body covered in wires, linked to a monitor going bleep at regular intervals.

As I looked down at my naked body, I was shocked to see all my veins and arteries marked out in a fine tracery of red and blue.

“Mr Berkshire. It is nice to have you back with us.” The annoying patronising voice was familiar and seemed to come from everywhere.

“Please don’t alarm yourself. You had a seizure but we have stabilised your condition, but I wouldn’t advise trying to move right now.”

I hadn’t realised I had sat up in the bed, shooting pain ran through my body from head to toe and I collapsed back into the pillow.

“That’s better Mr Berkshire, just rest. Your DNA was exceptionally interesting. It proved something that government scientists had only speculated about. Many people have unusual DNA. Some people have small percentages of DNA from Neanderthal or other primitive races, but you have 25% DNA from something that is not human at all.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I found myself unable to speak.

“Back in 1947, Mr Berkshire, something happened at Roswell in New Mexico. The Government has tried very hard to keep exactly what happened a secret. My father was the chief scientist involved at the time. An Alien creature was discovered and an autopsy was carried out, but there has always been some conjecture that this alien had had a human companion. Someone who had tried to keep him hidden from the authorities. The Alien had been very distressed when he was caught and kept calling out a name, Marianne, over and over. It was speculated that he had possibly formed an attachment to this Marianne. Your DNA shows that this did indeed occur. This Alien was your Grandfather, Mr Berkshire. Now, I’m afraid that we cannot allow this information to get out. You are living proof that there was an Alien incursion. We cannot allow that. Goodbye Mr Berkshire.”

I felt a fluid being injected into my veins and my body exploded in pain.

 

The End.

Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 23/March/2019

 

I have also included the following word prompts:

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/03/23/identity/

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/03/23/rdp-saturday-tracery/

FOWC with Fandango — Delirious

https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/03/23/your-daily-word-prompt-assemblage-march-23-2019/

https://swimmersweek.wordpress.com/2019/03/23/lonely/

 

 

Deja Vu – A recap of some of my recent posts.

 

 

person holding type writer beside teacup and saucer on table
Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

I have to admit, my mind is totally empty of ideas. As Sunday is drawing to an end, now is the hour to relax, have a bath and prepare for the week ahead.

I thought I would put some links together of some recent posts that you may have missed. I did this a while back and it was a great success. There are many bloggers who are busy during the week and so try to catch up with the blogs over the weekend, and as such, you may have a missed a few of mine.

 

Here are some of the poems I wrote recently:

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/03/14/a-picture-by-the-sea-a-poem-for-kreative-kue-210/

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/03/13/the-knight-and-the-dragon/

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/03/11/kaleidoscopic-mind-a-poem-written-for-kiras-sunday-scribbles/

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/03/06/the-key-quest-a-poem/

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/03/04/revenge-of-the-animals-a-silly-poem/

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/03/03/fragile-sunday-a-poem/

 

And here are a few of my short stories:

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/03/15/50-word-thursday-the-waiting-queen/

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/03/13/a-public-scene-a-multiple-word-prompt-story/

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/03/12/genre-challenge-romantically-involved/

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/03/08/night-of-the-living-nanny-a-multiple-word-prompt-story/

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/03/07/hard-times-at-the-studio-50-word-thursday/

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/03/06/a-final-civilisation-a-short-story/

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/03/05/space-encounters-of-an-awkward-kind/

 

I also wrote a number of short stories that were part of the same collection, the adventures of a little boy named Jeremy. I thought I would put them all together, so here are the links:

The Adventures of Jeremy:

city sky france flag
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/02/17/tell-the-story-challenge-a-boy-on-a-quest/

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/02/19/the-adventures-of-jeremy-continued/

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/02/23/the-adventures-of-jeremy-part-three/

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/02/24/the-adventures-of-jeremy-part-four/

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/02/28/the-adventures-of-jeremy-the-awful-auntie/

 

Cheers

 

Happy Sunday everyone, I hope you all have a great week. 🙂

 

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/03/17/empty/

https://swimmersweek.wordpress.com/2019/03/17/hour/

 

50 Word Thursday’s – Hidden Narcissism.

P1000192

This story was written for the 50 Word Thursday challenge: See the post here, it isn’t too late if you wanted to have a go too.

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/02/28/50-word-thursdays-9/

 

They travelled in comfortable companionship, talking about their daily lives.

The friendship that blossomed between them seemed steadfast. They had faced hardships together and had supported each other through them. However, now came the day of reckoning. Their friendship would undergo the ultimate trial, a test to see how strong or fragile their bond actually was. They had all fallen in love with the same person.

As they sat looking out to sea, one of the four was feeling very self-satisfied. She gave a laugh, knowing she’d managed to enchant the hearts of the others. Yet she only loved herself.

[100 words]

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/03/03/rdp-sunday-trial/

https://swimmersweek.wordpress.com/2019/03/03/laugh/

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/03/03/fragile/

FOWC with Fandango — Reckoning

https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/03/03/your-daily-word-prompt-enchant-march-3-2019/

 

Fragile Sunday – A poem.

bare feet boy child couch
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I’m feeling rather fragile now,

a bit lacklustre, flat somehow.

I’d like to lift my mood a bit,

To have a laugh, enjoy a skit,

But life’s become a trial today,

A day of reckoning coming my way.

So I’ll roll up tight, into a ball

and see what Monday has in stall.*

 

I didn’t realise but the phrase “To have something in stall” i.e. something in store, something coming up, is a UK English expression! Well, you learn something new every day.

FOWC with Fandango — Reckoning

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/03/03/rdp-sunday-trial/

https://swimmersweek.wordpress.com/2019/03/03/laugh/

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/03/03/fragile/

 

 

 

The Adventures of Jeremy – Part Four.

tilt shift lens photography of stone
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Jeremy’s parents were having a frank discussion.

“What are we going to do about Jeremy?” His father asked.

“Why, dear, he’s only a boy full of imagination. There’s no real harm in him?” his Mother replied philosophically.

“That’s fine you saying that, but it wasn’t your bathrobe he stole and then dragged through the mud. I think you encourage him. You let him keep that pet rabbit. You should have made him release it back into the woods. You indulge him too much.”

“Oh, Dear. Can’t you remember being young yourself? Didn’t you have adventures? Climb trees? Look for buried treasure?”

“Yes, but I grew out of it and it’s high time Jeremy did too.”

“He’s only eight years old, for goodness sake! What would you have me do? Put him on a strict diet of boiled cabbage to curb his enthusiasm? Send him away to boarding school? As if we can afford that sort of thing.”

“No, I suppose not. I think we should both be a bit more watchful of him in future though. We can only guess what the little rascal’s going to get up to tomorrow on his school field trip.”

   ***

Jeremy woke the next day full of his natural exuberance and ecstatic at the thought of going to the seaside on his school trip, and blissfully unaware that his parents were watching him very carefully.

The school bus stopped at the entrance to the park where he lived, just like every normal school day, except this day, instead of everyone wearing their drab Navy and brown school uniforms, they were wearing clothes in a kaleidoscope of bright colours. Jeremy wore his favourite bright mustard coloured pullover, blue shorts and his lucky red hat. In his rucksack, his Mother had made him cheese and marmalade sandwiches, his favourite, and he had a bottle of blackcurrant squash. He liked to pretend he was drinking fine red wine, like the Knights of old, only he hadn’t managed to find anything that looked like a goblet or a flagon. Drinking out of an ordinary bottle was going to have to do.

As the bus pulled away with their little boy on it waving from the rear window, Jeremy’s parents couldn’t help worry about what he was going to get up to.

They were relieved when at five pm the school bus pulled up outside and Jeremy came running up to them. He was carrying something large in his hands.

“Look Mum!, Dad! I’ve found a magic rock!”.

Indeed, in his hands, he held a dark grey rock, the size of a cricket ball.

“I found this rock on the beach and the Teacher said it was a special type of rock, called an igneous rock.”

Just then, Jeremy tripped and the rock fell from his hands onto the concrete path and cracked in half, like an egg.

When he picked it up, he saw the rock was hollow but growing inside was a collection of purple and yellow crystals, glittering in the afternoon sun.

Jeremy looked up at his parents and said, “See, I told you it was a magic rock!”

Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 24/February/2019

 

This story was inspired by the following word prompts:

https://lightmotifs.wordpress.com/2019/02/23/three-things-challenge-pl10/

Today’s prompt: rabbit, bathrobe, kaleidoscope

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/02/24/guess/

https://swimmersweek.wordpress.com/2019/02/24/diet/

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/02/24/rdp-sunday-rock/

FOWC with Fandango — Ecstatic

https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/02/24/your-daily-word-prompt-watchful-february-24-2019/

 

 

 

 

The Adventures of Jeremy – Part Three.

This is a continuation of a story I started writing some time ago. If you’d like to read parts one and two, I have linked them below:

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/02/17/tell-the-story-challenge-a-boy-on-a-quest/

https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/02/19/the-adventures-of-jeremy-continued/

 

backlit dark dawn environment
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Featured Image -- 2421

 

 

Jeremy was itching to go outside.

The previous Saturday he’d discovered a new part of the park that he’d never seen before. It was a deep hollow surrounded by yew and holly trees, with a small muddy puddle in the centre. He could imagine that the Lady of the Lake would reside in there, just waiting for him to come along so she could hand him Excalibur.

He wanted to continue exploring, but the weather had decided to thwart him.

The air had turned so thick with fog that you could practically eat it with a spoon.

He had a theory, that the weather knew when you had an important quest planned and deliberately tried to stop you from reaching your goal. Well, he was not prepared to let this little problem get in his way.

Jeremy ran upstairs into his father’s bedroom. His parents were playing with his little sister, Jennifer who was having a tea party for her dolls. She’d invited Jeremy too but he said he had something more important to do.

He opened the wardrobe where he knew the items he wanted were kept and within a few moments, he emerged, after making sure that there was a solid wall at the back of the wardrobe. He’d read The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S Lewis and so always made sure that there was no way into Narnia at the back of any of the wardrobes in the house. He’d checked them all at least three times. Jeremy pulled out the torchlight that his father used when they all went camping, it was on an elastic strap that you could wear around your head to keep your hands free. The other item he’d retrieved was his father’s green velvet dressing gown. If he was going to meet the Lady in the Lake, he had to make sure he looked the part and there was nothing he could think of that would make him look more worthy of receiving Excaliber than this particular garment. His Dad always looked very grand when he wore it.

So while the rest of his family were drinking their imaginary tea, Jeremy wrapped himself up green velvet, tying the arms around his neck, so that it looked like a cape, then he switched on the light on his head and stepped out into the thick fog.

The torchlight was just enough to follow the path, but the shadows of the trees either side of him appeared to loom, menacingly. Jeremy pushed through the yew trees at the far end of the park and was pleased to find his magical glade was still there.

Unfortunately, if the Lady of the Lake was impressed by his green velvet cape, she must have been scared away when Jeremy lost his balance and fell into the muddy puddle.

The murky water only came up to his knees, but it was very cold. Shivering he stood up and slowly made his way back home.

As he reached the cottage, his Mum and Dad were standing at the door.

“There he is! The little Rapscallion! What do you mean sneaking out of the house in this fog? Is that my favourite Dressing Gown?”

Try as his might, his parents just didn’t believe that the Lady in the Lake had pulled him in.

Jeremy’s adventures were severely curtailed for several weeks when his parents grounded him.

 

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/02/23/itching/

https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/02/23/your-daily-word-prompt-rapscallion-february-23-2019/

FOWC with Fandango — Theory

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/02/23/rdp-saturday-air/

https://swimmersweek.wordpress.com/2019/02/23/spoon/

 

 

 

 

 

 

Leaving – A Multiple Word Prompt Story.

The home was no longer provided the sanctuary that it once had.

It was strange how just one person made a home and when they were gone, all that was left was a bunch of disconnected people living within brick walls.

The love and nurture she had known were gone. There was no one left here to provide her heart and soul with the nutrition she needed to survive.

She’d decided it was time to go. It had taken her a while to write the note which she now propped up against the Microwave in the kitchen.

Then she gently pulled closed the door and stepped out into the early morning light.

The dragging of her small suitcase echoed around the street of crowded houses, but no lights went on. No one stirred.

She walked up to the Petrol Garage at the top of the road. She’d made her decision. There was nothing left to do now, except call the Taxi and count down the minutes until it came.

This was the first day of the rest of her life.

 

 

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/02/09/taxi/

https://swimmersweek.wordpress.com/2019/02/09/count/

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/02/09/rdp-saturday-sanctuary/

https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/02/09/your-daily-word-prompt-nutrition-february-9-2019/

FOWC with Fandango — Garage