An Ode to the Bald – A Terrible Poem

This poem was written for Chelsea Owens Final Terrible Poetry Competition, Click on the link to take part:

The Final Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest

The Final Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest

An Ode to the Bald

Oh, Woe is me, Alas and Alack
Oh how I wish I could have my hair back
Now my poor head is shiny and bald
My comb is redundant, my crown feels the cold
It’s the one thing for which I would pray, steal or beg,
If I could no longer be as bald as an egg.

 

The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest 4/11 – My Corona!

 

The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest 4/11 – 4/17/2020 AKA 11/4 – 17/4/2020

So, this weeks challenge is to take a song and turn it into a parody of the Corona Virus.

Well here is my tasteless and rather obvious version of The Knack’s My Sharona.

It wrote itself really.

 

My Corona
My Corona
Ooh, my little deadly one, a deadly one
OK, at the moment I feel…. Fine, Corona
Ooh, you make my fever run, my fever run
Sweats running off me is that a…… Sign, Corona?

If I don’t ever stop, going out, I’m going out of my mind
I’ll get infected from the touch of the unwashed kind
My, my, my, ay, ay, woah!
M-m-m-my Corona

Don’t Come any closer, huh, ah, don’t ya, huh
Not Close enough to look in my eyes, Corona
Keeping six feet away from me,

or you will see, that everyone dies, Corona
If I don’t ever stop, going out, I’m going out of my mind
I’ll get infected from the touch of the unwashed kind
My, my, my, ay, ay, woah!
M-m-m-my Corona
M-m-m-my Corona
Na, na, na, na, na-na
My Corona
When you gonna get to me, get to me
It is just a matter of….. Time, Corona.

 

Please keep home, keep safe and look after yourselves, don’t let the parody’s become your reality.

xxxx

Limerick Woes – A Playful Limerick and a Terrible Poem

I thought I would enter Chelsea Owens Terrible Poetry Contest, which this week is to write a Limerick:

Here is the link to her post:

The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest 3/14 – 3/20/2020

I thought I’d try a Limerick,

It sounded fun, a lark, a kick,

but please take my advice

and always think twice

because now I’m feeling quite sick. 

 

This poem was written for the Word of the Day Word prompts: Limerick, Advice and Kick

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2020/03/18/advice-2/

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2020/03/17/limerick/

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2020/03/16/kick-2/

 

 

The Tale of the Otiose Man – Terrible Poetry.

donald j trump book
Photo by Phuc ( Xù ) Pham on Pexels.com

 

fresco-3357_1920

 

Hark and listen to this tale of old,

Of an oafish man, quite otiose,

Who’d believe any story he was told,

And act in a manner bellicose.

Belligerently he’d wander around

Spouting words of nonsense, some would cheer

Picking fights wherever honest men were found,

His arrogance defying belief, year on year.

But wait! Don’t look back with wistful eyes,

It was in the past, a book upon the shelf.

Appears again, this otiose man who belief defies,

For history is always repeating itself.

 

Copyright@ Kristian Fogarty

 

This poem was written for Chelsea Owens Terrible Poetry Contest:

The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest

 

I have also included the following Word Prompts:

https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2020/01/26/your-daily-word-prompt-otiose-january-26-2020/

FOWC with Fandango — Wait

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2020/01/26/rdp-sunday-wander/

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2020/01/26/wistful/

 

Terrible Poetry Contest -Little Bo Peep, Unemployed.

selective focus beige and brown goat
Photo by Sơn Bờm on Pexels.com

This poem was written for Chelsea Owens Terrible Poetry Contest, see the link below:

The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest

 

Little Bo Peep – Unemployed.

 

Little Bo Peep

Had lost her sheep,

But she knew just where to find them

They’d been taken away

The other day

For slaughter, so she no longer had to mind them.

 

Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 13/October/2019

Terribly Bad Poetry – Shakespeare’s Legacy

Chelsea Owens has launched her Terrible Poetry Competition, see the link to her post below:

The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest

This weeks theme is to write a limerick about a poet who takes himself too seriously…

So here goes…

 

Shakespeare was incredibly clever

But he wrote terribly dull poems, however,

And when his day was done,

His poems still live on

Because they’ve been taught in our schools forever.

photo of black ceramic male profile statue under grey sky during daytime
Photo by Mike Bird on Pexels.com

A Truly Terrible Rhyme ;-)

bullion gold gold bars golden

 

Chelsea Owens has set me a challenge, to write a truly terrible poem, with the subject, unusual ways of making money. Check out her challenge by clicking on the link below:

The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest

Now, if you are thinking, ‘well all your poems are awful’, then maybe you’re thinking I can’t do any worse? Well, think again, because here is something really bad!.

A truly terrible rhyme,

 

I’m told I often come across orgulous

Like a diamond-encrusted nautilus,

But I can’t bring myself to mix

With the great unwashed in the stix

So, in order to make some money

I do something jolly and funny.

I volunteer to look after cats,

And then keep tabs of everyone’s stats,

What type of shops they like to use,

All their secrets and their news,

Then sell the data for the highest price,

It all makes me feel rather nice.

Then I stride on down the street

In my golden tracksuit, rather neat.

By this simple data extraction

I live a life so full of action,

with a simple process activation

I’ve risen way above my station.

 

SEE I TOLD YOU! 🙂 

I’ve also included the following word prompts:

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/07/10/jolly/

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/07/10/rdp-wednesday-orgulous/

https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/07/10/your-daily-word-prompt-activation-july-10-2019/

FOWC with Fandango — Stats

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com